Author, Speaker, Autism Expert

New to Autism? How to Cope

By Chantal Sicile-Kira |  March 16th, 2011 |  Print Print  | 

Recently, I posted a blog on the Autism College website entitled : “My child has just been diagnosed with autism, how do I cope with this?” Parents new to the world of autism usually have a tough time after getting the diagnosis. Parents learning to cope  may find the following tips helpful:

• First, acknowledge your feelings, and allow yourself to feel the emotions that are there. These emotions, may come back time and again, but you will learn to cope.

• Know that the emotions you feel as a parent of a child with autism, has been compared to the stages of grief that  person goes through when mourning the death of a loved one.

• Recognize what you are feeling and try to use those emotions to your benefit. If you are angry, use that energy to find out all you can and advocate for your child (just be careful not to take out your anger on those that are there to help you). If you are feeling isolated, join a support group. If you are feeling powerless, go on the internet and do some research to learn about what options you have for your child, or which advocacy group exists in your state (every state has one) for the developmentally disabled community.

• Keep in mind you are not mourning the death of your child, you are mourning the loss of your expectations. The child you have may not be the child you were expecting, but he still needs you and loves you.

• Reach out and find an autism support group in your area that can help you feel less isolated and can help you with information.

• Find out all you can that can help your child so you can make the right choices. Empower yourself with the knowledge you need to help your child the best way that you can.

• Take care of your self. Just like in an airplane where the flight attendant instructs you in case of an accident, to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you help your child; you come first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to help your child.

At Autism College, we can help you as we help other parents coping with autism. Our Parent Empowerment Course can assist with some information such as how to know what will help your child, and the affects of autism on siblings and grandparents. Our free Library will  grow and we are adding information you can use. Two of my books might be really helpful to you at this time: Autism Spectrum Disorders (an  ASA Book of the Year) and 41 Things to Know About Autism.

 

Putting Yourself First

By Chantal Sicile-Kira |  November 7th, 2010 |  Print Print  | 

This past week, I finally made it to the RoadRunner store to buy a pair of running shoes. I have not been getting my normal amount of exercise (walking or elliptical, plus core strengthening) and I was feeling it. Lethargic, less energy and putting on weight. And when I did exercise, my sneakers were so worn I was worried about my back and left right knee (go ahead and laugh if you are under 35, you’ll soon understand what I’m talking about….). I knew it had been a while since I had bought a new pair – but when I got to the checkout – I was told my current sneakers were purchased in July 2009. YIKES!

How did I let exercise – the one thing that keeps me healthy and sane (OK, maybe not sane but at least behaving appropriately in public settings) slide off my schedule?

Upon reflection, what has happened in the last two years is that I had put myself on the bottom of both the “scheduling support people for Jeremy list” and  the “to-do list.”  Parents and educators,  you know what I mean – you all do it. When you have special needs children your life can get swallowed up by your child’s or student’s needs.  I have been squeezing in my writing (ie paid work), my socializing (ie refreshing my social skills) and my exercise (ie keeping healthy) around Jeremy’s needs and everyone’s schedule.

I often tell parents and educators  during my presentations that they have to take time for themselves. Like the cabin crew tells you on the plane – you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else. Same goes for real life. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will, and you won’t be  any good to anyone else. So please, do as I say and not as I  have been doing.

Now, I’m putting my priorities first on the schedule. Everything else is secondary. (At least till the new shoes get a little mileage on them).

Self-Advocacy is a Needed Life Skill for Students on the Autism Spectrum Headed to College

By Chantal Sicile-Kira |  October 17th, 2010 |  Print Print  | 

Psychology Today blog, October 17, 2010 – Yesterday, as I was presenting on Autism Life Skills in Grand Junction, Colorado, I discussed the need for teaching self- advocacy to high school students with autism, including Asperger’s Syndrome..  At the end, a parent approached me and said she was shocked to learn that once their child on the spectrum graduates from high school, reaches the ripe old age of 18 and is planning to attend college, a parent is no longer the person responsible education-wise: the student is. This means that when they are  18 years of age and are college students, the college contacts the student, not the parent. If the student will be requiring any kind of accommodations, he or she – not the parent – will need to ask for them  and discuss the need with Disabled Student Services.

This is why it is important that before they graduate form high school, students  know how to advocate for their needs. This includes having a good idea of what their disability is and how to describe it, what kind of learning style they have, their strengths as well as their weaknesses, and know what accommodations they will need. These students should know their rights, be able to discuss the accommodations, and know how to carry on a conversation and convince the college of their need. Some Disabled Student Services are knowledgeable and helpful to  students on the autism spectrum, others are still more comfortable with students that have a physically challenging condition, and have a difficult time with those who have an ‘invisible disability’.

All students on the spectrum need to learn self-advocacy skills,  but those heading to college need to learn them before they  graduate. If you are a parent or an educator of a high school student,  have self-advocacy goals addressed in the  IEP (Individualized Educational Program) or ITP  (Individualized Educational Program).  High school is the best place for him or her to start learning these skills, if he or she  has not already done so. For some information on transitioning from high school to college, check out  Catching the Wave from Grossmont College, a community college in the San Diego area. Some of the resources and facts may apply only to California, but there is a lot of good information for high school educators and parents to consider.

Jeremy Sicile-Kira

Jeremy Sicile-Kira

Back to School 101: Tips for General Education Teachers About Students with Asperger’s Syndrome

By Chantal Sicile-Kira |  October 13th, 2010 |  Print Print  | 

This is from my Psychology Today blog published September 9, 2010

Often junior high and high school teachers have teenagers with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) included in their classrooms, and are not given much in the way of useful information. Here I hope to provide a few practical tips that may be helpful to educators with no practical knowledge about students on the spectrum.

Parents, you may wish to print this out to give to your child’s teacher, or send them the link. There are only a few tips here, but usually teachers are receptive so practical information that may help them to understand and reach their student.

Asperger’s or High Functioning Autism (HFA) is often described as an ‘invisible disability’ because students on the spectrum do not look different frorm most students. Most teachers expect them to act like everyone else, but often the student gets in trouble for behaving in a way that seems rude, disruptive or non-compliant. A diagnosis of Asperger’s or HFA is based on challenges in the areas of communication, and social relationships, as well as what appears to be an obsession or passion for a particular area of interest.

Here are some tips that may help the school year go a little easier for you and your student on the spectrum:

* It’s a good idea to have a hard copy of the homework assignment to hand to your students on the spectrum, because most of them are mono-channel, meaning they have only one other processing channels (auditory or visual) working effectively at one time. This means they cannot look at the assignment on the board, write it down and still be able to focus on what you are saying. By the time they have finished copying down the assignment, they have missed your intro to that day’s lesson. This mono-channel aspect makes it hard for a student to multi-task, and by only requiring him/her to do one thing at a time, it will be much easier for the student to be focused on the day’s lesson.

* The student with Asperger’s or HFA usually takes things literally – this is part of the communication challenge. For example, if you address the class by saying “Please turn to page 12,” expecting the students to start doing the work on that page, the Aspie student may turn to page 12, and then just sit there, awaiting further instruction. Meanwhile, you may think he is being a smart-aleck, but I assure you, he is not. You need to say “Please turn to page 12 and write the answers to question 1-5 in your notebook.”

* This taking things literally means that also the student may not understand all the nuances of language or social customs, what we call ‘hidden curriculum.’ Think of what it is like as a foreigner in a new land and how they need to be explained the local customs- that is what it is like for a person on the spectrum.

* Students on the spectrum are often described as being obsessed with a particular topic or subject, for example, space travel, buildings, certain types of music, transportation. Actually, being passionate about a topic shows an interest in learning. If you know what your student is passionate about, you can relate your lessons or subject in some way to his area of interest and your student will excel.

* Many students on the spectrum are overly sensitive to noise and crowds, making transition times between classrooms difficult. By allowing the student to arrive or leave a few minutes early or late, you will make it much easier for that student to arrive to class less stressed, and ready to focus on the lesson.

Students with Asperger’s Syndrome or HFA are usually very bright and eager to learn. Hopefully these tips will help the year be a more productive one for you and your student.

Back to School : how to prepare your teen for a new school year

By Chantal Sicile-Kira |  September 2nd, 2010 |  Print Print  | 

It’s that time of the year again – school is starting up again soon, along with our hopes and expectations for a positive learning experience for our teens. Some maybe returning to the same school; others may be moving from middle school up to high school, or changing from high school to a transition program; others may only be changing classrooms or teachers. Whatever the situation, any type of transition or change can be stressful for a teen on the spectrum. The start of a new school year can also be stressful for parents and teachers.

I first posted this article on the Examiner.com last August (2009), but it is still useful information so I am reposting now.

On August 15th,2009, I presented at the annual “Back to School”  Autism / Asperger conference in Pasadena and had the opportunity to refresh my memory on some good readiness skills for the start of the new school year. A2Z Educational Advocates based in Pacific Palisades had some good tips to share in a “Back to School Guide” they were handing out. Following are some tips from both the “Back to School Guide” and from my book Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum to help the transition go smoothly for your teen or student:

  • If  your student is moving to a new school or classroom, take photos or videos of the new environment, including the areas he/she will be walking through. If possible, take the teen to the new location before school starts and practice walking around the empty campus. Have him /her notice some visual landmarks he/she  will be able to see when the campus is full of students, and explain to him/her how to use these as points of references when walking from one place to another.
  • Prime your teen by talking to him/her  about the upcoming school year, the teacher and expectations, as well as any fears or concerns your teen has. Creating a photo album together or writing social stories can be very helpful. Even if your teen does not have good communication skills or is non-verbal, he/she can  learn to  understand and make the connection, so it is worth the effort to take the extra time to do this. Going over the appropriate behaviors and social interaction for the school environment can also be helpful. Many students find having a set of ‘rules’  for school behavior helpful. Focus on the positive!
  • Help your teen get organized to prepare for the school year.
  1. Use color-coded folders to organize the work for the different classes.
  2. Get a planner for your teen. Many schools have a homework planner, and your teen can use this to keep track of homework assignments. Show him/her  how to write his assignments in the planner and reinforce him/her  for doing so through out the school year.
  3. Designate a spot in your teen’s backpack for forms, notes and so on that come home from school, and make sure your teen and the school staff know where that is.
  4. If your teen is fully included in a school that follows block scheduling such as in some North San Diego County high schools (one day is periods 1,3,5; the next day is periods 2,4,6) you may wish to consider having two separate backpacks for the two different block days days.
  5. If your teen needs assistance to organize himself and stay organized (as mentioned above), his / her IEP may need to include accommodations, strategies, and goals related to learning these skills. Being able to get and stay organized is an important life skill everyone needs to learn

In my next column, tips on how to make the transition back to school easier for parents and teachers will be discussed.

Back to School 101: Tips for general education teachers

By Chantal Sicile-Kira |  March 20th, 2010 |  Print Print  | 

Tips for general education teachers

Back in August, I wrote this post for my Autism and Adolescence column in the Examiner.com, and I’m re-posting it here because I’ve received a few emails with questions recently from general education teachers. Maybe there are others who could use these little nuggets of information.

Often junior high and high school teachers have teenagers with Asperger’s Syndrome included in their classrooms, and are not given much in the way of useful information. This column will provide a few practical tips that may be helpful to educators with no practical knowledge about students on the spectrum.  For more information, check out this webpage.

Asperger’s or High Functioning Autism (HFA) is often described as an ‘invisible disability’ because students on the spectrum do not look different frorm most students. Most teachers expect them to act like everyone else, but often the student gets in trouble for behaving in a way that seems rude, disruptive or non-compliant.  A diagnosis of Asperger’s or HFA is based on challenges in the areas of communication, and social relationships, as well as what appears to be an obsession or passion for a particular area of interest.

Here are some tips that may help the school year go a little easier for you and your student on the spectrum:

  • It’s a good idea to have a hard copy of the homework assignment to hand to your students on the spectrum, because most of them are mono-channel. This means they cannot look at the assignment on the board, write it down and still be able to focus on what you are saying. By the time they have finished copying down the assignment, they have missed your intro to that day’s lesson. This mono-channel aspect makes it hard for a student to multi-task, and by only requiring him/her to do one thing at a time, it will be much easier for the student to stay focused. Read More »