Jeremy graduated from high school with a GPA of 3.75 on June 18, 2010.
He auditioned for, and was chosen to give a commencement speech.
Jeremy Sicile-Kira’s Commencement Speech
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Posted In: Adolescents and Teenagers with Autism, Adults on the Autism Spectrum, Articles, Autism Life Skills, Chantal in the Press, Communication, Educators, Grandparents, Jeremy Sicile-Kira, Parents of Children with Autism, People with Asperger's Syndrome, Siblings of a Child with Autism, Transitions
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Grad with autism earns long-awaited diploma
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DEL MAR — Among 632 seniors graduating from Torrey Pines High School on June 18, no one could be happier than Jeremy Sicile-Kira. And this isn’t the first time Jeremy has walked with his graduating class.
Three years ago Jeremy, who is severely autistic, completed the functional life skills track at Torrey Pines. For his efforts, he walked through the ceremony but he did not receive a diploma.
In the fall he proceeded to an off-campus transition program to learn living and job skills.
“He didn’t do well,” said his mother, Chantal Sicile-Kira. “He was noncompliant and didn’t want to do anything. He was bored.”
Jeremy was educated through a combination of home schooling by his mother and special education that included taking mainstream classes at Torrey Pines in marketing, economics, social sciences and psychology.
Because he was unable to speak, Chantal Sicile-Kira taught Jeremy how to communicate using applied behavior analysis. The technique involves a laminated, paper keyboard, which Jeremy uses to spell words by pointing.
Frustrated that Jeremy was doing poorly in the transition program, Chantal Sicile-Kira spoke with Bruce Cochrane, executive director of pupil services at the San Dieguito Union High School District.
“Bruce said, ‘Why didn’t you have him go for his diploma?” she said.
Chantal Sicile-Kira learned that in order to graduate with an academic diploma, Jeremy first needed to pass a high school exit exam and earn credit in required subjects.
“The school looked at Jeremy’s transcripts,” she said. “Since he was allowed to be in the educational system until the age of 22, he had enough time to earn credit if he took two classes a semester.”
Another thing that worked in Jeremy’s favor was that students are given six chances to pass the California exit exam.
“We thought we’d have him take the test and use it as a baseline,” she said. “He passed it the first time.”
This fall Jeremy will start college the same time as his younger sister Rebecca, who graduates from Canyon Crest Academy on June 18. She is entering UC Davis as a freshman.
Jeremy will embark on a degree in journalism
or communications at MiraCosta College. This semester he got a head start by completing a course in intercultural communications.
Jeremy is already a published writer. He’s written a column titled “Life As I See It” in the school newspaper. In April he published an editorial in the North County Times. Currently he’s working on a book about his life.
In addition, he collaborates with his mother, who is an award-winning author, speaker, and president of Autism Making A Difference, Inc.
A few years ago Jeremy was featured in MTV’s documentary series “True Life,” for the episode titled “I Have Autism.”
Since then he has become a popular speaker who offers these words of advice to the graduating class of 2010 in a speech he’ll be delivering this afternoon.
“My real message to you today is: Teachers, never underestimate your students no matter how disabled they may appear or what difficulties they face.
“Parents, believe in your children and encourage them to fulfill their dreams.
“Students, give yourself the power to hear the voice inside telling you that you can create the life you dream of. Believe in yourself, and never allow anyone to discourage you.”
Chantal Sicile-Kira has always believed in her son’s potential, even when she was advised to “find a good institution for Jeremy” when he was growing up.
“He is heading to a good institution now,” she said. “It’s called ‘college.’”
This summer Jeremy was invited to address the Staten Island and Manhattan chapters of the National Autism Association. He has secured a donation of $500 for travel costs for his mother and him but needs an additional $300. To make a donation or to contact Jeremy, e-mail jsicilekira@yahoo.com.
Chantal Sicile-Kira has just released a new book, “41 Things to Know About Autism.” For more information visit chantalsicile-kira.com.
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SOLANA BEACH: Nonverbal autistic student to give commencement address
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Torrey Pines’ Jeremy Sicile-Kira clears big hurdles on road to graduation
Published on the front page of The North County Times
By CHRISTINA LOPEZ
Most people would consider scaling Mount Everest or winning a Nobel Peace Prize an impressive feat, but Jeremy Sicile-Kira —- who was diagnosed at age 3 with severe autism —- is scaling heights that are equally impressive.
On Friday, the 21-year-old is set to become the first nonverbal autistic student to receive a full academic diploma from Torrey Pines High School, San Dieguito Union School District officials said.
He will also give the school’s commencement address, which has been prerecorded using a computer voice generator that translated his typed speech into an audio file burned onto a CD.
Sicile-Kira communicates by using what is known as Rapid Prompting Method, a system that requires intense focus and participation by aides or other caregivers to keep him on task.
In Sicile-Kira’s case, his mother, Chantal, and aides use prompts —- snapping their fingers or pointing at familiar objects —- as they ask questions.
He then points with one finger to a letter board or keyboard to spell out his answers.
“My mom tells me that no one is better than anyone else,” Sicile-Kira said in an interview last week, using his laminated keyboard, and assisted by his mother. “We know that we should try our best.”
Autism is a range of complex neurological disorders characterized by social impairment, communication difficulties and repetitive behavior patterns, according to the National Institutes of Health.
Many people with autism are diagnosed as toddlers. In severe cases, children with autism appear to be locked in their own worlds, unable to communicate.
Chantal Sicile-Kira said her son began showing signs of autism when he was 9 months old.
“He didn’t move. He didn’t develop right away,” she said. “I had to fight to find out about Jeremy’s condition.”
In the years since, she said, her son has gone through home schooling, special education and many different therapies, but couldn’t spell out words until he was 14 years old and began learning RPM.
“I really believe in the impossible,” she said.
At Friday’s commencement ceremony, Sicile-Kira —- decked out in cap and gown —- will deliver his speech to 619 fellow graduates.
His sister, Rebecca, 18, is graduating earlier Friday from Canyon Crest Academy and will be in the audience during the 4 p.m. Torrey Pines ceremony.
“The staff and the students know him so well —- they’ll be encouraging him,” she said about her brother’s participation in the event. “I think people will be proud of him when he delivers the speech.”
Bruce Cochrane, executive director of student services for the San Dieguito Union High School District, has worked with Sicile-Kira for the past three years and is just one of the many people who helped him reach this goal.
“Jeremy is an incredible young man,” Cochrane said. “I think as he has matured, his skills and talent have flourished. (He) has been able to communicate at a greater level and really show people his intelligence.”
Sicile-Kira is able to earn his diploma under a state law that gives special education students until age 22 to do so.
He completed the necessary course work and passed the California Exit Exam on his first try.
Sicile-Kira’s mother said she never believed the naysayers who told her when the boy was young that he would have few options in life.
“Once they diagnosed him, I was told to find him a good institution,” she said. “And I have —- it’s called college.”
In the fall, Sicile-Kira will enroll at MiraCosta College in Oceanside, with an interest in journalism; he hopes to write for the college newspaper.
Until then, his summer plans include financing a two-week trip to New York City. He also plans to publish his first book and establish an online newsletter geared toward helping families understand children with disabilities such as autism.
“I think I greatly inspire others by my ability to continue to learn and not give up on my dreams,” he said.
An author, speaker and autism expert, Chantal Sicile-Kira is working on her fourth book on autism and says she has learned much from her son in the years since his diagnosis.
“We raised him to never feel sorry for himself,” Chantal Sicile-Kira said. “He’s a big inspiration to me. He has taught me patience and has actually made me into a stronger person.”
The message Sicile-Kira wants to convey to the class of 2010 is to focus on a goal and never give up on yourself.
“When I first arrived, I had no way to communicate,” he said. “But over the years, I learned how to spell, and my life changed from one of loneliness to one of having great teachers and an education.”
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Tags: Autism, high school graduation, Jeremy Sicile-Kira, Rapid Prompting Method, rebecca, RPM, speech | View Comments
Inspirational autistic TPHS student graduates, will deliver a commencement speech
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Carmel Valley News, June 10, 2010
Inspirational autistic TPHS student graduates, will deliver a commencement speech
By Karen Billing
Jeremy Sicile-Kira is autistic and cannot speak, but that does not mean he has nothing to say. After seven years at Torrey Pines High School, he has earned his high school diploma and will deliver a commencement speech to his classmates through voice-assisted technology at the June 18 graduation ceremony.
“I am nervous but very touched that I am giving a speech,” said Jeremy, using a letter board to spell out his words. “I want to tell them never give up on your dreams.”
To graduate high school Jeremy, 21, has taken units in mainstream general education classes as well as in his severely handicapped classes with Allen Gustafson, whom Jeremy said is the “best teacher.” He does all the same work as his regular education peers, he just gets more time to do it. He passed his California High School Exit Exam on the first try and will attend MiraCosta College in the fall to study communications.
Next week he will graduate on the same day as his sister, Rebecca, a senior at Canyon Crest Academy.
“I was pretty amazed,” said proud mom Chantal, who never even expected it would be possible for Jeremy to earn his diploma, let alone with a 3.5 GPA.
Along the autism spectrum, every child’s symptoms are different. Although Jeremy can say a few words, he has never been able to speak. In a speech written for an autism conference, Jeremy explained how his autism affected his vision, hearing and motor skills.
He said he had to learn how to hear, how to know which noise to pay attention to and distinguish when someone was speaking to him. He had to learn how to focus to be able to see.
“If I don’t concentrate, the world seems surreal,” Jeremy said.
He encourages fellow autistic children to be patient with treatment and learning methods and to learn to read because “when you can read the world is yours.” He tells them not to worry about what they look like when they are “stimming,” a method of using repetitive motion to keep focused. It is more important to be present than to worry about what other people see, he said.
Jeremy needs support and help from his family and teachers to accomplish schoolwork, but he has never needed to be motivated to learn. He thinks knowledge is important; he loves math even though it is challenging to have to spell out how to solve each problem and he especially loves to write.
“My mom is really nice because she made me realize I could learn,” Jeremy said.
Gustafson, Jeremy’s teacher for four years, turned to Jeremy’s mother Chantal to find out what she was doing at home that could help in the classroom.
“I just kept on giving him words of encouragement and kept on sticking to the plan,” said Gustafston, who left Torrey Pines in 2008 for Eastlake High.
He said sometimes there were hard days, sometimes the methods worked and sometimes they didn’t. But Jeremy wanted to learn as much as possible.
“It was great for him to believe in himself and that education is a value and something to work at…He wanted to show people he wasn’t dumb, that he knew just as much as the person sitting next to him in high school.
“I’m immensely proud of him,” Gustafson said.
Jeremy stresses there is hope in autism, but that nothing will matter if the person doesn’t believe in themselves.
Spreading his inspiring message of hope was only possible after Jeremy found his voice.
To communicate, Jeremy uses a litewriter. He types in sentences and the machine verbalizes his words for him. Scattered throughout the house and in his backpack for school are letter boards which Jeremy uses to spell out words to his family and friends.
To present his commencement speech he will use his laptop’s TextAloud software which takes his writing and converts it into speech—he uses the same program to speak at schools and conventions.
Jeremy has really only been able to communicate with his classmates for the last two years with the litewriter and he said it has changed his life. Before, he has said he felt like he was “imprisoned in darkness.” Now he has friends and like any high school student, swaps messages on Facebook.
The friendships he was able to make were very meaningful and he said what he will miss most about Torrey Pines is “the way I was accepted by everyone.”
Jeremy’s message to others is always to follow their dreams and he’s already accomplished one of his dreams: to earn his diploma. His second big dream is “to make money.”
As he loves to write, he is working on getting a book published and wants to start an online newsletter to “create awareness and answer questions” on autism. To make a living, he will look for sponsors and advertisers on his site and is working on getting more speaking engagements to share his words.
Most of Jeremy’s writings always lead toward the inspirational and one of his personal heroes is Helen Keller.
“When Helen Keller grew up she graduated from college, became an author and an advocate for people with disabilities,” he wrote. “I hope to follow in her footsteps.”
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“THE STATE OF THINGS” North Carolina Public Radio station WUNC
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Click here for a link to the radio show
The program is “The State of Things” on North Carolina Public Radio station WUNC. Longtime NPR correspondent Frank Stasio hosts the program, which this time focused on autism.
The way Franc Stasio introduced me is a description I think describes what all autism moms and dads tend to be – strategists:
“… Jeremy is almost 22 now and he is thriving thanks to an army of experts whose chief strategist and leader of the troops is his mother.” Frank Stasio, host of radio show ‘The State of Things” on WUNC, North Carolina Public Radio, April 2010.
I was on a panel that will include Autism Society of North Carolina spokesperson David Laxton; and a representative of the North Carolina TEACCH program, and Daniel Coulter. TEACCH stands for “Treatment and Education of Autistic and related Communication Handicapped Children” and is associated with the North Carolina School of Medicine.
Posted In: Adolescents and Teenagers with Autism, Adults on the Autism Spectrum, Autism Life Skills, Chantal in the Press, Communication, Educators, Employment, Grandparents, Parents of Children with Autism, People with Asperger's Syndrome, Siblings of a Child with Autism, Transitions
Tags: 41 Things To Know About Autism, : asperger's syndrome, adults, Autism, California Fires, childre, education, life skills, teens, vaccines | View Comments
Chantal Sicile-Kira on “It’s Your Call”
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This is a few minutes of footage from a KVCR TV show I was on in April 2006 to promote Autism Awareness. It was an hour show where we answered questions from callers. The producer and moderator is Lillian Vasquez of KVCR, and the other guest is Patty Gross Founder of Northstar (where Jeremy’s assistance dog, Handsome, came from). Lillian has produced a few shows on autism creating great community awareness.
Dads with autistic children get a place to learn, brag and vent
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Husband noticed that no men showed up at an awareness group started by his wife
This article originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune
By Rex W Huppke
September 15, 2008
James Harlan quickly saw good coming from the autism awareness program his wife started in west suburban Proviso Township. But as the group—aptly named The Answer Inc.—grew larger, Harlan noticed something missing at its meetings.
“Where are the men?” he asked his wife, Debra Vines. “Where are the fathers? It was all women.”
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Families seek autism answers
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Conference brings parents together
By Rex W. Huppke
Chicago Tribune
Published Sunday, May 27, 2007
Shawn Dennis, the father of two autistic children, came from Ohio to Rosemont this Memorial Day weekend seeking what most parents affected by this enigmatic disorder hunger for: hope.
At a conference called “Roadmap to Recovery,” organized by the national advocacy group Autism One, hope came in a dizzying array of treatments and products, from portable hyperbaric chambers, omega oils and potent
vitamin supplements to acupuncture and infrared saunas aimed at sweating out toxins. There were booths offering sailing therapy, auditory integration training and tips on gluten-free cooking.
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Growing Up With Autism
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Teenagers and young adults are the emerging face of autism as the disorder continues to challenge science and unite determined families.
By Barbara Kantrowitz and Julie Scelfo
Newsweek
Nov. 27, 2006 issue – Chicken and potatoes. Chicken and potatoes. Danny Boronat wants chicken and potatoes. He
asks for it once, twice … 10 times. In the kitchen of the family’s suburban New Jersey home, Danny’s mother,
Loretta, chops garlic for spaghetti sauce. No chicken and potatoes, she tells Danny. We’re having spaghetti. But
Danny wants chicken and potatoes. Chicken and potatoes. His 12-year-old sister, Rosalinda, wanders in to remind her
mother about upcoming basketball tryouts. His brother Alex, 22, grabs some tortilla chips and then leaves to check
scores on ESPN. His other brother Matthew, 17, talks about an upcoming gig with his band. Danny seems not to
notice any of this. “Mom,” he asks in a monotone, “why can’t we have chicken and potatoes?” If Danny were a
toddler, his behavior would be nothing unusual. But Danny Boronat is 20 years old. “That’s really what life with autism
is like,” says Loretta. “I have to keep laughing. Otherwise, I would cry.”
Autism strikes in childhood, but as thousands of families like the Boronats have learned—and thousands more are
destined to learn—autism is not simply a childhood disorder. Two decades into the surge of diagnoses that has made
autism a major public health issue, a generation of teenagers and young adults is facing a new crisis: what happens
next?
As daunting as that question may be, it’s just the latest in the endless chain of challenges that is life for the dedicated
parents of children with autism. Twenty years ago, they banded together—largely out of desperation—to raise
awareness of a once rarely diagnosed, often overlooked disease. They are united by the frustration of dealing with a
condition that has no known cause and no cure. They have lobbied passionately to get better education for their kids
and more money for research into autism, a neurological disorder characterized by language problems, repetitive
behaviors and difficulty with social interaction. At the same time, more sophisticated epidemiology has revealed the
true magnitude of the problem. Autism is now estimated to affect from one in 500 to one in 166 children—or as many
as 500,000 Americans under 21, most male. That includes individuals with a wide range of abilities—from socially
awkward math whizzes to teens who aren’t toilet trained—but who all fit on what scientists now consider a spectrum
of autism disorders.
The culmination of much of this parental activism is the Combating Autism Act, which was pushed by a collection of
advocacy groups like Cure Autism Now, led by Hollywood producer Jon Shestack and his wife, Portia Iverson; Autism
Speaks, started by Bob Wright, CEO and chairman of NBC Universal, and the Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for
Pediatric Oncology. The bill unanimously passed the U.S. Senate in August but was blocked in the House by Texas
Republican Joe Barton, chair of the House Committee on Energy and Commerce. In a September meeting, Barton told
autism activists that he would continue to oppose their legislation, which earmarks $945 million for research over the
next five years, because it conflicted with his own proposal to reform the National Institutes of Health. As a result,
autism advocates began inundating him with faxes and phone calls and lambasting him in the press. To advance the
cause of research, radio host Don Imus joined in and pressured Barton on the air, calling the congressman, among
other things, “a lying, fat little skunk from Texas.”
Now that the Democrats have won the House, Barton will lose his chairmanship in January and NEWSWEEK has
learned that he is attempting to pass a compromise version of the bill before then. If passed, the House bill would
fund a new push for early diagnosis, which is critical to starting therapy as soon as possible. In a particular victory for
parents, the legislation specifies that the research oversight committee should include at least one person with autism
and a parent of a child with autism.
The House bill authorizes money for research into many questions, including whether environmental factors may
trigger autism. One point of contention: the Senate bill mandated a specific amount of money for the NIH to research
the role environmental factors might play in causing autism. But Barton resisted, and now the specificity about how
much should be spent and where has been lost in the compromise version. Still, a Barton bill could come up for a vote
as early as the first week in December and the legislation, says Alison Singer, the mother of a daughter with autism
and an executive at the advocacy group Autism Speaks, “is probably the single most important thing that could
happen besides the cure.”
A win in Washington may lift their spirits, but a legislative victory won’t really change much for the Boronats and
others like them. Some kids have made dramatic progress after intensive physical and behavioral therapy; many
others still struggle with basic activities. Often, when lower-functioning young people reach 18, their parents will
establish legal guardianship to protect them. But no matter what level they’ve reached, many will need help for the
rest of their lives. Most government-sponsored educational and therapeutic services stop at the age of 21, and there
are few residential facilities and work programs geared to the needs of adults with autism. “Once they lose the
education entitlement and become adults, it’s like they fall off the face of the earth” as far as government services are
concerned, says Lee Grossman, president and CEO of the Autism Society of America, a major national-advocacy
group.
According to the Harvard School of Public Health, it can cost about $3.2 million to care for a person with autism over a
lifetime. Caring for all persons with autism costs an estimated $35 billion per year, the same study says. Families with
limited financial resources are particularly hard hit. Other chronic diseases like diabetes are covered by insurance. But
parents of youngsters with autism “have to navigate a maze and, if they find providers, then they have to figure out
how to pay for it,” says Singer. Grossman’s early wish for the Combating Autism Act was that it would address the
dire needs of autistic adults, and he drafted 30 pages of service-related issues. But that part was never introduced
because a consortium of activists working on the bill concluded, for the sake of political expediency, that the bill
shouldn’t try to take on too much. In this light, restraint seems especially critical now, when the Iraq war has
siphoned off so much federal money. “It’s like a forest fire running through science and it burns a lot of trees down,”
says Dan Geschwind, a UCLA neurogeneticist. However, advocacy groups vow that the moment the bill passes,
government funding for adult services will become their next priority. Wright believes there is substantial
congressional support for this, possibly from Sen. Hillary Clinton.
Moving through adolescence to adulthood is never easy, but autism transforms even the most routine activities into
potential minefields. Recognizing the norms of teen behavior can be a Sisyphean task. Helen Motokane’s daughter,
Christine, 14, has Asperger’s syndrome, a high-functioning form of the disorder. She struggles to fit in at her Los
Angeles public school—and that means hiding parts of her true self. One secret: she loves Barbie. “She knows it’s not
cool to wear clothes with Barbie logos, so she tries to keep that at home,” says Helen, who gently prods her daughter
into developing more mature interests. “She says, ‘You’re trying to make me grow up, aren’t you? You want me to do
all these things right away.’ I go, ‘No, no, no.’ I reassure her that we’re not trying to push her.” But an hour or two
later, her mother says, Christine will ask, “Is it OK if I like Disney Princess even though other kids my age don’t like
it?”
Keri Bowers of Thousand Oaks, Calif., says her son, Taylor Cross, 17, seems perfectly normal at first. But sometimes
he’ll just blurt out what he’s thinking without any internal censorship. Passing a stranger on the street, he might say,
“You’re in a wheelchair!” “When you’re socially odd, people are afraid,” Bowers says. “They want to get away from you
and cross to the other side of the street.” Not surprisingly, Taylor had no friends at all in the public school he attends
until he began to meet other teens with autism—young people his mother describes as equally “quirky.”
In one way, he’s not quirky at all. “He’s attracted to girls,” Bowers says, “but he’s shy. He doesn’t really know how to
talk to them.” A few months ago, he asked out a girl from his school who does not have autism but who had been
friendly to him. Bowers had a psychologist friend shadow the couple at the movies. “Taylor only spoke about subjects
he was interested in,” Bowers says. “He wouldn’t do a reciprocal back-and-forth conversation on topics about her.”
Still, when Bowers later asked if he wanted to kiss the girl, Taylor surprised his mother with his sensitivity. “He said,
‘Yes, but she’s very religious and I would never do that’.”
As young people with autism approach adulthood, some parents can’t help but feel the huge gaps between their
child’s lives and others the same age. “It’s very hard, especially in our competitive society where people strive for
perfection,” says Chantal Sicile-Kira, whose son, Jeremy, 17, can communicate only by pointing to letters on an
alphabet board. The San Diego resident hosts “The Real World of Autism With Chantal” on the Autism One Radio
Internet station and wrote “Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum” (Penguin, 2006). Like many youngsters with autism,
Jeremy finds new environments difficult. “If he walks into a new store,” his mother says, “and there’s horrendous
fluorescent lighting, within 10 minutes I’ll look down and he’s starting to wet himself.” Despite such challenges, Sicile-
Kira plans to help Jeremy live on his own when he’s an adult—perhaps rooming with another young person with
autism.
Independent living is a major goal of many families and, with the help of therapy, thousands of youngsters who in
earlier generations would have been consigned to institutions are now going to college and looking forward to a
normal life with a job. But for every one who makes it, there are many more young people like Danny Boronat, who
has come so far and yet still faces much uncertainty. Once unable to utter a sentence, Danny now reads at a secondgrade
level, competes in the Special Olympics and willingly takes on household chores like loading the dishwasher.
But he also can spend hours playing with water. He picks obsessively at his cuticles, and sometimes cuts himself (his
mother tries to hide any scissors in the house). He has no close friends. Next year he’ll turn 21 and will no longer be
eligible for the workshop where he does simple assembly-line work three days a week. After that? No one knows, not
even his parents. “It’s terrifying,” says his mother, who started her own charity called DannysHouse to focus on
adults.
A few states like California and Connecticut, newly aware of the crisis, have launched efforts to meet adult needs. But
until programs are widely available, families are left to cobble together a patchwork of solutions—from informal day
care to hourly caretakers to private residential programs. But these are stopgap measures. Parents worry that they
will run out of money to pay for these services—and that they won’t be around forever to arrange them for their
children.
It’s understandable that these parents would feel distraught. Many adults with autism require so much special care
that it’s hard to imagine anyone but a loving family member willing to provide it. “My wife and I are concerned about
what’s going to happen to our son when we pass on,” says Lee Jorwic, whose son Christopher, 17, is unable to speak
even though he’s been in therapy since childhood. At 6 feet 4 inches and 290 pounds, Christopher is “our gentle
giant,” his father says. But because of his disabilities, even the most routine tasks require extraordinary preparations.
Two years ago, for example, Christopher got an eye infection. He couldn’t sit still long enough for the doctor to
perform an exam so he had to go under anesthesia twice “just so the guy could look in his eye,” his father says.
Grossman says the Autism Society gets hundreds of calls every day from families like the Jorwics. “The most
distressing, most disheartening, are from parents of older kids, parents who are at the end of life,” he says. “They’ve
been fighting this all their life, and they don’t have a place for the kid after they die.”
The natural successors to parents as caretakers would be siblings. Some families feel that’s too much of a burden;
others say that’s a natural part of life in a family with autism. When one sibling has autism, the needs of so-called
neurotypical children may seem to come second. Beth Eisman of Potomac, Md., recently sent her oldest daughter,
Melanie, 18, off to college. Her goal for her younger daughter, Dana, 16, is more basic: independence. Dana’s
tantrums limited the family’s participation in Melanie’s school activities. “The old days were pretty bad,” Eisman says.
“Melanie often took the brunt of it.” Now that Melanie is gone, Dana feels the loss. Eisman says Dana often goes into
her sister’s room and says, “I want Melanie.”
Many families are sustained knowing that, by raising awareness of autism, they have already given their children the
gift of a meaningful identity. “If this was 10 years ago, my daughter’s classmates might say she’s the one who talks to
herself all the time and flaps her hands,” says Roy Richard Grinker, an anthropologist at George Washington
University and father of Isabel, 15. “But if you ask these kids in 2006 about Isabel, they say she’s the one who plays
the cello and who’s smart about animals.” Inspired by his daughter, Grinker explored autism in different cultures for
his book “Unstrange Minds: Remapping the World of Autism” (Basic Books, 2007). “The more peers of the same age
group understand about autism, the more likely they are to be kind, caring and integrate them into community life.”
Twenty years ago, that kind of acceptance was inconceivable. Autism was considered rare and few physicians
understood it or were able to help. The disorder was first identified by Leo Kanner of Johns Hopkins in 1943. About the
same time a German scientist, Hans Asperger, described a less severe form of the condition. But with the ascendancy
of psychoanalysis in the postwar years, the predominant view was that autism was a psychological disorder caused by
a lack of love from “refrigerator mothers,” a term introduced by the controversial psychologist Bruno Bettelheim. In
the 1970s, parents started pushing back against this theory and encouraging researchers to look for neurological
causes. It wasn’t until 1980 that autism became an official clinical diagnosis, separate from childhood schizophrenia or
retardation. Since that time, as scientists have learned more, they have broadened the diagnosis to include a
spectrum of disabilities. Now, they are re-evaluting it even further, considering the idea that there may be multiple
“autisms.”
As knowledge about autism spread in the 1990s, families began to get more accurate diagnoses for children who
might in the past have been labeled mentally retarded or emotionally disturbed, and the number of cases
skyrocketed. Because of the Internet and extensive networking, parents around the country found allies and became
powerful and articulate advocates. Even longtime autism researchers say families have really led the way. “Beyond
raising awareness,” says Dr. Thomas Insel, director of the National Institute of Mental Health, “families have become
the real experts on this disorder. They have to figure out how to cope with a child who becomes explosive, disruptive,
who could have a meltdown at any moment. They become highly skilled at knowing what helps.”
Autism has set all these families on a unique journey and, while the road ahead is still unclear, they cherish small
triumphs along the way. Grinker has a Ph.D. from Harvard and, in his community, many parents dream of sending
their children to the Ivy League. He and his wife, Joyce, a psychiatrist, know that Isabel will never join them. But
raising Isabel has its own rewards. Isabel’s sister, Olivia, 13, is “like a third parent,” says Grinker. The family judges
Isabel not by the standards of others but by how far she has come. “When Isabel achieves something, I feel like we’re
a team, like we all did it, and I feel incredibly rewarded,” he says. For now, that is enough.
With Karen Springen and Mary Carmichael
URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15792805/site/newsweek/from/ET/
© 2006 MSNBC.com
Woman shares experience with autism
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The Coast News November 03, 2006
By Jeff O’Brien, staff writer
DEL MAR — The San Diego Chapter of the Autism Society of America is hosting their fifth annual conferences, Autism: Preparing for the Future, Today,” Nov. 3 and Nov. 4 at Marina Village.
Del Mar resident Chantal Sicile-Kira, an award-winning author, autism expert and mother of a 17-year-old autistic son, will be one of the guest speakers at the event.
Posted In: Chantal in the Press
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